When New Year’s Resolutions Collide

January 2, 2026

Kate Preston

Cat owners, like everyone else, make New Year’s Resolutions, but few realize that our cats make them, too. Visiting with some Cat Talk staff to inquire about their resolutions for 2026, I was surprised (and sometimes concerned!) by notes left by their cats. Is it possible their creative little feline minds can see into ours? Consider the following …

Staff: I promise to make my bed daily.
Kitty: I will rearrange the covers every day for my comfort.

Staff:  I vow to put a waterproof sheet on the bed.
Kitty:  I promise to pee on the bed only to let you know when the sheets need changing.

Staff: I will replace the carpet with hardwood flooring.
Kitty: I will find new places to upchuck furballs, beginning with the couch, the bed, and the recliner.

Staff: I resolve to go on a diet.
Kitty:  I promise to entice the Staff with the jolly crinkle of candy wrappers from the wastebasket.

Staff: I resolve to attend at least one CFA show each month.
Kitty: I vow to hide in a dark place when she gets out the carrier; Staff apparently cannot see in the dark.

Staff:  I will fold the laundry soon after it comes out of the dryer.
Kitty:  I will pounce on fresh laundry while it is still warm.  And leave a dusting of hair in the process.

Staff:  I will buy only healthy organic cat food with veggies for Kitty.
Kitty:  I will be grateful and eat what is provided. Unless it contains carrots. Or peas.
Or broccoli …

Staff:  I promise to leave the TV on for Kitty when I am away.
Kitty:  I resolve courtesy: to let the Staff believe I enjoy the same TV programs. Actually, I prefer the squirrels outside the window.

Staff:  I vow to get a recycling container with a lid.
Kitty:  I promise not to tip over the recycling wastebasket more than once a week.

Staff:  I promise to repair the hole in the screen door.
Kitty:   I resolve not to annoy the Staff by going in/out: Another hole in the screen door will do fine.

Staff:  I promise to keep scraps off the floor, so Kitty doesn’t eat them.
Kitty:  I resolve not to eat on the table. Unless there are no scraps on the floor.

Staff:  I resolve to put toys away to avoid accidents.
Kitty:  I promise not to knock keys, cell phone, wristwatch, etc., off the dresser as long as my toys are available. But I do enjoy testing gravity …

Staff:  I will put working mousetraps throughout the house.
Kitty:  I will present the mice I catch to my Staff.

Staff:  I promise to replace the Ficus tree with a cactus.
Kitty:  I promise not to sharpen my claws on the dining room chairs – the Ficus tree will do.

Staff:  I will give Kitty a treat after every pill.
Kitty:  I will take a pill calmly and not spit it out – until after my treat.

Staff:  I will play with the kittens daily to socialize them.
Kitty:  I will keep my claws to myself. Unless someone touches my kittens.

Staff:  I will not be distracted from work by Kitty’s theatrics.
Kitty:  I will master the art of sucking in Staff’s attention by staring endlessly at a spot on the wall.

Staff: I promise to give Kitty a bath once a month.
Kitty:  I vow to lick all my fur clean after … ick … a “bath.”

Staff:  I will make a new afghan for the sitting room.
Kitty:  I will wallow joyfully in any yarn that comes into the house.