How Do I Love Thee? … Let Me Count the Ways!

An Inquiry Into Feline Affection

Candilee Jackson

Introduction:
The word “hyperbole” is being tossed around a great deal among politicians, and its definition matches the political situation at the moment: Hyperbole means exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally. Non-ailurophiles totally do not “get” cat people who claim their felines L.O.V.E. them, and by golly, they can PROVE it! A hyperbolic statement to canine lovers. So, yeah, not only is this writer an ailurophile, but she is also Tonk-obsessed, and her goal is to PROVE (beyond the shadow of a doubt) that cats do, TECHNICALLY, show love to their human staff.

Disclaimer
Since scholarly or scientific articles on this subject are few and far between, the source materials utilized to prove the writer’s point were blogs and personal conversations with long-time cat owners.

Animals CAN Show Love
“Cats are easily misunderstood. And if you’re not a self-proclaimed cat person, you might (rightfully) question whether your cat loves you. Heck, even longtime feline fans probably wonder if the looks their cats give them are signs of true kitty love.”¹ “Feline love and trust are not mutually exclusive,” stated Sally Morgan, a holistic physical therapist for both pets and people.“¹ Of course, animals show love for us, and part of that love is indeed built on trust,” says Morgan, who is a certified advanced Tellington TTouch Method practitioner for horses and small animals. According to the TTouch website, this method “deepens the relationship with your animals, improves behavior, enhances performance, supports health and well-being and fosters learning.”¹

Citing a study by neuroscientist Dr. Paul J. Zak, Ph.D., for a BBC2 documentary, “Cats v Dogs,” Morgan states that a “ cat’s oxytocin levels (the hug, cuddle, bonding, trust hormone released in a mother bonding with an infant) increased by twelve percent after ten minutes of playtime with their pet parents.”¹ Of course, the argument is that cats show their love for their owners because they are big cats who bring food, and while there is little information one way or the other, people like to think that feline love goes beyond the food bowl.

Cat Love Versus Dog Love

“It’s true that a dog’s show of love might be more obvious than a cat’s; but then again, every animal has their own personality.”¹ Among CFA’s recognized breeds, there are many whose breeders and owners claim they are very dog-like in their behaviors, but cats show their love in ways different from canines. According to cat psychologist and blogger Irith Bloom, “Many dogs will be happy to hang out with any human, because they are social creatures who form friendships easily and hunt in packs. Cats, on the other hand, do form colonies in some situations, but they are much less likely to spend time with strange cats, and instead tend to focus on spending time with their special friends.”¹ Several cat species can be “pride” animals, living in harmony in small groups, and “have wild ancestors that hung in groups, so there is a sense of cooperation being advantageous that’s bred into house kitties,”¹ stated Morgan.

Do You Kiss Your Cat?²

Before moving on, this writer unabashedly admits to kissing on her cats: she always has and has no reason to change her behavior.

We all love our pets and show them affection in many ways, including kissing, hugging, cuddling and carrying them around in a baby sling, hoodie or even a pet-specific backpack. While some breeds can be more affectionate than others, cat owners still shower their felines with affection. Some tolerate it better than others, but affection IS affection, and your cat will not say to you “Nay!” if you continue kissing them!

The best way to ensure your cat’s appreciation of your love and affection is to begin in kittenhood. A cat that grows up being kissed, cuddled, and carried around is one happy fur kid!

Signs of Kitty Bliss^1,2,3

A cat’s body language is the best way to judge a cat’s love for its people:

• The slow blink
• Kneading
• Purring
• Headbutts*
• Conversational meowing
• Licking its owner*
• Love nips*
• Belly up for pets
• Backing up, tail first*
• Rubbing, especially its head*
• Bringing gifts
• Following their owner everywhere
• Cuddling*
• Sleeping with their owner
* These types of behavior have a great deal to do with the cat’s scent glands, and in doing these behaviors, the cat is “marking” its owners to indicate to other cats that you are taken!

And the Tail End …
In the wee hours of this morning, while snuggled under the counterpane against winter’s blast, this writer felt a little paw digging at a dangly earring. Ignoring the paw was out of the question because Corelli’s next tactic would be pulling on the earring, and believe me, that HURTS! I opened one eye and noticed it was barely 4am, and there was no way the fur kids were getting breakfast at this ungodly hour! So, I did what anyone sane person would do with a beloved eight-month-old kitten at 4am: Corelli was unceremoniously tossed out of the bedroom (along with his two compatriots), and with a slam of the bedroom door, I crawled back into my warm bed. Does my cat love me? Maybe … but he loves his stomach more!

 

Sources
1. n.d. Accessed December 12, 2024. https://be.chewy.com/behavior-pet-body-language-does-my-cat-love-me/
2. n.d. “Do Cats Like Kisses?” VO Vets Blog. Accessed December 12, 2024. https://vovets.com/blog/do-cats-like-kisses/#:~:text=While%20there%20is%20some%20evidence,of%20hugs%20and%20kisses%20themselves.
3. n.d. “How Can You tell If your Cat Loves You.” Healthy Pet Blogs. https://www.healthy-pet.com/blogs/blog/how-can-you-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you-ways-your-cat-says-i-love-you?